The RockStar Success Library

There Are Over 50,000 Words in the English Language

DFish — Tue, 15 May 2012 08:15:35 GMT

I think you need to be more precise in your communication. More precisely, you need to be more precise with the words you choose to use (and then make sure to use them).

I spend a lot of time teaching people how to communicate, and in the back pocket of any communications trainer is the idea that verbal communication depends on three things: word choice, vocal tone, and body language. We get all excited when we reveal that word choice is less than 10% of communication effectiveness - it really isn't what you say, but how you say it. So we talk about how to use body language and the tone of your voice to create alignment between the what and the how.

That's all well and good but we tend gloss over the importance of choosing and using the right words. Word choice might only be around 10% of the message, but it's the part that clarifies the other 90%. No one is completely sure exactly how language evolved, but my guess is that it was more effective to say "There's a large mastodon about to stomp on your head" than to just jump and shout.

We tend to rely on communicating through tone and body language because it acts as a bond. Sarcasm is a great example - the whole point of sarcasm as humor is that the other person just gets it. When our friends understand that we're using sarcasm, it strengthens the relationship between us. But sarcasm also illustrates the problems with using tone and body language to communicate - we've all had huge blow-up fights because someone didn't get the joke.

The bigger problem comes in as we go through our days, communicating the whole time, using our body language and vocal tone to do all the work. We get lazy. It's like turning in a rough draft as finished work - we're not telling the whole story. We're basically spewing half-communicated ideas all around and hoping our hearers will figure it out. They do, but they don't necessarily get the message right. So it confuses the people we know really well, and it builds a really weak foundation for new relationships.

It feels weird to be really precise because we're not used to it. It's a habit that requires practice. But when you join clear word choice with awareness of your vocal tone and body language, real communication goes up (and miscommunication goes down).

There are over 50,000 words in the English language - use them.

Tags: communication, speaking, word+choice, body+language, vocal+tone, tonality, sarcasm

Finding People Online

DFish — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:09:16 GMT

It used to be that creating your professional network was easy – it was simply the people you saw at the office regularly. These days, though, with our work and our co-workers often spread throughout the country (and world), it can be hard to connect and build relationships with your professional peers. But never fear, online social networking sites can help you develop your network in your career field.

Because everyone has a limited amount of time, few of the industry-specific social media sites have taken off; so it’s important to find members of your profession on the main sites. And they are there – many professionals engage in some sort of online activity on a daily basis. Here are a few ideas on how to find and connect with them:

StumbleUpon provides a great way for you to search for relevant websites in your field – and more importantly, who’s contributing to them. You can use YouTube for the same purpose of finding content creators in your field so you can reach out to them. And some of your Facebook friends are probably from work – who are they connected with that you’d like to know professionally?

LinkedIn is the main professional social networking site and there are number of ways to connect with your colleagues. Join one of the 1.2 million+ Groups – many of which focus on a particular industry or geographic area. You can also participate in the Answers section, where you will find your peers congregating in the topic areas that you are also interested in. And you can always use the Search feature to find professionals based on a certain keyword or job title.

And on Twitter, the raucous 300 million person online cocktail party (without the cocktails but with the background chatter), you can follow people to see what your industry peers are “talking” about. You can use the Twitter search, or applications like HootSuite or TweetDeck to find ideal connections. Once you’ve followed them and listened for a bit, send them a direct tweet back and start a conversation – they’ll often follow you in return.

There are other ways to find people online, but you’ll find that these give you a great place to start. Try a few of them, and see what happens!

Tags: networking, social+media, online+networking, business+networking, linkedin, facebook, twitter, youtube, stumbleupon, answers, groups, search

Go Get a Sales Job

DFish — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 08:18:32 GMT

It’s tough to be a recent college graduate. At least that’s what everyone seems to be saying. Kids are graduating with lots of student loans and few job prospects. I don’t buy it. Here’s what I would tell them (and feel free to pass this along):

Go get a sales job.

It’s not that hard. Well, it’s not unless you sit around waiting for the $80,000 base salary, company car, and cushy sales territory. Any company worth it’s salt is always looking for quality salespeople. So check your ego and entitlement at the door and start applying.

And don’t just get a sales job to pass the time until something better comes along. Treat it like the profession that it is. I watch people spend 2 to 4 years and tens (hundreds) of thousands of dollars to get graduate-level degrees that have questionable economic value. What if you spent that same amount of time in a sales position? What if you spent the same amount of time reading as you would if you were in grad school -but you read books on how to sell, how to be effective in business, and how to interact with people? For one thing, you’d actually make money instead of eating ramen for a few years, and you’d be way more employable at the end of it.

If you think you are too good for sales, or that sales is a four letter word, I would get over your incorrect assumptions (and yourself). Let’s face it, your outmoded opinions probably aren’t helping you right now, unless you really like un/underemployment. I’m not talking about hustling crappy products door-to-door or becoming a telemarketer. I’m talking about selling a product or service that solves peoples’ problems and that you have belief in, that you can stand behind.

When you work in sales, you learn/hone/demonstrate four important skills:

How to work – I don’t mean to sound like a crotchety old man, but a solid work ethic is irreplaceable. I don’t care how talented you think you are, if you can’t work hard, you aren’t that valuable in the work force (we all know a lot of lazy people). In sales, you can't hide behind a desk and mundane tasks – if you don't produce you don't get paid. Scary? Yes. Liberating? Yes. The less bullshit you have in your life, the better, and your paycheck will tell you just how much you’ve been working
How to interact with others – No matter what your dream job is, the soft “people skills” are one of the most important skill sets you can develop. And they are completely portable. You’ll find wherever you go that the individuals who can work with others rise to the top. Just like any other skill, your people skills will improve when you practice them in a professional environment when results are on the line.
How to handle rejection and failure – We all know people who fold when something doesn’t go their way. They are the opposite of dependable and they aren’t the type of people that stick around in any role. Toughen yourself up and you’ll find your life is a lot easier – and that more people want to hire you. Self-confidence can’t be given to you, it has to be earned
How to pursue a goal – I once heard the value of a college degree described as, “proving that you can stick with a project over a period of time.” Anyone who’s trying to hit a sales goal demonstrates they can stick with a long-term goal. And that’s darn sexy to any organization when they are hiring. Because unless you are a temporary consultant, they want to know that you see things through to completion.

There are many other benefits to sales experience, but don’t take my word for it. Find a quality organization with a quality offering, and put two years into excelling at a sales position there. It’s better than wasting away at a part-time job that you don’t care about, and when you’re done, you can say thanks by buying me dinner.

Tags: sales, selling, graduate, recent+grad, career, people+skills, work+ethic, grad+school

Why Was that Brilliant?

DFish — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 09:13:35 GMT

Some of the most useful (and entertaining) professional development classes I’ve ever taken have been improv-comedy classes. Besides making me a little less unfunny at parties, I’ve learned some powerful and practical communication skills in these classes.

One of them came from a brilliant teacher, Tim Whetham. (He was the teacher who pointed out on the first day of class that, “everyone is already good at improv, we do it 24 hours a day). In a class on performing an improvisational scene with a partner, Tim pointed out that your focus in the scene should be to validate the choices the other actor makes. In the heat of the moment, when it’s easy to dismiss what the other person says in a scene, Tim suggested that the response should be to always be to think: “Why was that brilliant?”

When you are working hard to validate your partner, and they are working hard to validate you, great things start to happen on stage. No matter how off-the-wall or crazy your scene partner’s choices, it’s amazing when you can operate from a place of creativity, instead of slamming the doors shut. It doesn’t mean that you have to go along with blatantly wrong statements, but if you suspend your judgment for a while, you get to make different (and more conscious) decisions.

Let’s remove it from the improv stage: What an interesting way to go through life! Instead of judging everything that is said to you or done around you, just ask yourself, “Why was that brilliant?” It could be your business partner, your spouse, or the person standing in front of you in the line at the Starbucks, but look for the possibilities in the situation instead of closing yourself down to them. It’s so easy to dismiss what others say, either subconsciously or directly, that we end up closed off to the great ideas and influences that pop up in our lives every day.

This is how you dive deeper into your relationships, and it’s how you open yourself to ideas that lead to personal and professional growth. You don’t have to take everything at face value, but if you can learn to pause the internal critic in your mind, you’ll find the space that opens up allows for some fantastic results!

Tags: improv, improv+comedy, communication, scene, brilliant

The Best $150 You'll Spend this Year

DFish — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:11:00 GMT

If I could show you something that would guarantee professional growth, and it would only cost $150, would you be interested?

It’s easy. Every week, take time out of your schedule to talk about business with someone over a cup of coffee. For $3 a week (maybe less if you like McDonald’s coffee, more if you like fancy Starbucks concoctions), you can build the business relationships that are one of the true determinants of career success.

Your coffee companion could be a colleague, client, vendor, partner, or the guy down the hall. It doesn’t matter. You can meet with someone new every week, or meet with the same person every week. It doesn’t matter. You can meet at 7:00 in the morning, 1:00 in the afternoon, or 6:00 at night. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you take the time to have the conversations.

Don’t just talk about your business world, ask them about theirs. This isn’t a time to complain and moan about what’s going wrong. Sure, you can talk about each other’s challenges and problems for a few minutes, but use that as a way to look for solutions, opportunities, and future goals. You’re going to learn three important things:

Who your coffee partner is as a person – which leads to stronger relationships.
A new perspective on your career and career issues – which allows you more options and helps you make better professional decisions.
How you can help the other people in your network – which helps you bring value and makes you feel good.

Everyone I talk to wishes they had a more robust network of business relationships. And everyone can build that network, but it takes time and effort. It’s not like an exam where you can just cram the night before the test. Take the time to have a conversation over a cup of coffee and you’ll find that this small investment leads to a huge return.

Tags: networking, business+networking, coffee, introductions, relationships, mentor, professional+networking, networking+skills

Little Red Book of Selling – Jeffrey Gitomer

DFish — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 07:16:36 GMT

I have a shelf in my office full of sales books, and they pretty much all say the same things. So when I read another book on sales these days, what I'm looking for are the few nuggets that stand out and make the lightbulb go off. It might be a reminder of something I already knew, or a different way of looking at a part of the sales process, but it's a piece of actionable information that will make a difference in my results.

Jeffrey definitely delivers in the Little Red Book of Selling. This isn't a book of basics, and I think there are better foundation books out there. For salespeople with a little experience under their belt, though, this is a great tool to use to develop advanced business skills.

Big Thought:

“People Don't Like to be Sold, but They Love to Buy … your job as a master salesman is to create an atmosphere where people want to buy” (first page)

Ideas, Implications, and Questions:

Most sales books put forth a sales process that is “scientific”, meaning that if it’s run the right way, anyone could run it. But, whether we want to admit it or not, a prospect’s feelings towards the salesperson influences what will happen. I like that Jeffrey points out that “liking is the single most powerful element in a sales relationship.” Because, “All things being equal, people want to do business with their friends. All things being not quite so equal, people STILL want to do business with their friends.” (pg 81) So it’s important to develop your sales skills, but it’s even more critical to develop your interpersonal skills.
Over and over, Jeffrey points out that people who buy aren’t looking to become informed and educated, they are looking for someone to solve their problems as quickly as possible. I think a lot of salespeople fall into the trap of telling their customers about their products – when all the customers care about is the ability of the product to fix their issues. It’s the the old school “features vs. benefits” idea – tell prospects how you can help them, not the facts and figures.
One of the most common objections that salespeople run into is price – because every prospect has a finite amount of cash they can spend. Too many sales people wither when this comes up, instead of standing up for themselves. I love Jeffrey’s response: “Price or profit, Mr. Jones, which would you rather have?” (pg 77)
“In sales it's not who you know. In sales, it's who knows you.” (pg 63). A powerful reminder about prospecting – especially for those who use networking to build their pipeline. What are you doing to increase the visibility of your brand in the marketplace – especially as a solver of problems? If it’s used correctly, social media is a really useful tool for solving both sides of the equation.

Should you read this book?

If you are selling – absolutely. It will re-focus your efforts and re-engage you with your craft at a high level. Definitely worth the time.

Tags: Little+Red+Book+of+Selling, Jeffrey+Gitomer, Gitomer, selling, selling+skills, sales, sales+training, sales+skills, closing, closing+skills, referrals, networking, features+vs.+benefits, communication

Stumbling on Happiness - Daniel Gilbert

DFish — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:02:00 GMT

Happiness is the ever-elusive holy grail that we keep chasing – and it seems after all of our efforts, we’re not getting any closer to achieving it. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert points out in the beginning of Stumbling on Happiness, is that we even struggle to even define what happiness is! Stumbling on Happiness is one of the few books that I’ve read that tackles the question of our happiness from a common-sense, almost rational, point of view. If all of us want it, and are willing to work for it, why do we live so much of our lives in unhappiness. Daniel tackles this question with using a variety of disciplines, including psychology, neurobiology, behavioral economics, and luckily, a good deal of humor.

Big Thought

Human beings are really bad at predicting what they need to do now to feel happy in the future. But if we understand why we’re bad at predicting our future needs, we can start to make different decisions in the present.

Ideas, Implications, and Questions

The implications of Stumbling on Happiness are quite far-reaching, but the biggest impact it made was on my own decision-making process. Unfortunately, it didn’t necessarily help me make better decisions, but it helped illuminate how my own process worked, and gave me a reason to slow down and consider other alternatives. In this way, it actually reinforces the Buddhist practice of desirelessness, because it gave me another tool to realize that doing something now (eating a doughnut, buying a DVD, sleeping late) wasn’t necessarily going to create happiness for my future self.
“The surprisingly right answer is that people find it gratifying to exercise control – not just for the futures it buys them, but for the exercise itself. Being effective – changing things, influencing things, making things happen – is one of the fundamental human needs…” (pg 22). I’ve seen this over and over in myself and in the people I work with. If you want to make someone happier, give them ownership and control over how they use their time. People love the feeling of control, even if it’s just an illusion.
“Not only do we select favorable facts from magazines, we also select them from memory.” (pg 181). This reminds me of the Zanders’ “it’s all invented” from The Art of Possibility. If we are going to be subjective in finding support for our beliefs, why not find support for the beliefs that help us. On a negative side, it also illustrates why arguing politics with someone is usually futile – we tend to pick the facts that agree with our viewpoint and ignore the contrary facts.
“The tendency to recall and rely on unusual instances is one of the reasons why we so often repeat mistakes.” (pg 221). The availability heuristic defines how exceptions stand out in our minds and therefore seem the norm. This has a huge impact in business when professionals “manage to the exception”. As examples, managers will often put policies into place based on the behaviors of a few employees versus the norm or salespeople will put phrases into their sales presentation based on the response from just a few customers. The more conscious you can be of this tendency, the less likely you are to manage your activities based on the “anecdotes” that you can remember easily.

Should you read this book?

Yes. Yesterday. While not a handbook on how to live your life, I think that everyone can use a glimpse into the processes we all use on a daily basis to make decisions. It will help explicate the decisions that those you live and work with make, and you won’t have to wonder, “What were they thinking when they made that decision?” And maybe more importantly, it will help you understand how you got to where you are with the decisions you make.

Tags: Stumbling+on+Happiness, Daniel+Gilbert, happiness, The+Art+of+Possibilty, desrirelessness, control, management+psychology, organizational+development, business+skills, motivation, decisions

Good Networkers Always Have Jobs

DFish — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:39:00 GMT

People that are good at building and maintaining a strong professional network are rarely unemployed for long; and it’s not just because they know a lot of people who can hire them. It’s because the competencies that are necessary for successful networking are highly sought after in the job market. When you are actively networking, you are both a) continually honing these skills and more importantly, b) proving that you have them!

Here are a few of the intangible skills involved in successful networking:

Interpersonal Communication Skills – Networking is communicating. If you are a good networker you are adept at one of the most important business skills around: engaging with another human being. You can talk to people, ask questions, listen to their responses; in other words, you know how to build relationships. This is not a universal skill, and it’s highly prized by employers.

Self-Confidence – Reaching out to someone new is hard, and building new relationships is tough; that’s why we usually just stick to our own small social group. By networking, you are proving that you have the confidence to approach new people, and that if things don’t go great, it won’t discourage you. Self-worth is an attribute that can’t be taught and is in high demand (and not just in the sales department).

Teamwork – Networking involves supporting other people, and asking for help when you need it, i.e., it requires teamwork. Everyone says they’re a team player, but we both know that’s not the case. By showing you can work in the social web and that you have people that want to interact with you (without being forced because you work together), you prove that you can “play well with the other kids” and that you’re a good addition to an organization.

These are just a few of the skills that you hone when you are networking, and are critical to excelling in the workplace. Technical skills aren’t enough. If all you have is the technical skill to do a job, you’re replaceable by someone else who has that skill, or by technology. You are just a commodity, interchangeable with anyone else who has that skill. But when you take the technical skills and add the ability to interact with others (coworkers, clients, bosses, direct reports) at a high level, you create a powerful mix of skill sets.

Who gets the chance to practice these skills and improve their worth to a potential employer? It’s the person who is out building relationships on a regular basis, regardless of their current employment situation. If you consistently put yourself in situations where you are interacting with new people and improving your “soft skills”, you are constantly becoming more valuable in the marketplace. This, combined with the fact that you do know more people who can connect you with job opportunities, will ensure that you never want for work.

Tags: business+networking, networking, professional+networking, networking+skills, business+skills, teamwork, self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, teamwork, employment, jobseeker, soft+skills, communication, communication+skills

3 Ways to Motivate Lazy People

DFish — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 11:06:00 GMT

I was having a conversation with a sales manager the other day about how to train and develop his salespeople. After mapping out an effective curriculum, he paused and asked, “This is great for the motivated ones, but what about the people that are just lazy?”

It’s an interesting question, but in the end it’s the wrong one. I have yet to meet a person who is genuinely lazy, someone who has laziness as an inherent part of their personality. I have, however, met many, many individuals who exhibit lazy behaviors. Laziness is a symptom, not a disease. I’ve found there are three reasons why someone will act lazily:

Fear of the Unknown – When we engage in a new activity, something changes and we don’t always know how that change will affect us. Or we think the change will have some benefit, but we aren’t sure; in fact, it might actually cause pain.
Lack of Competence – If we don’t know how to accomplish a task, it’s easier to not even attempt it. This is commonly found in the business world.
No Compelling Reason to Act – An unfinished project would be usually be finished immediately if there was suddenly a million dollar reward. This is complicated, however, by the fact that most compelling reasons are rarely financial (as you can see when, counter-intuitively, financial rewards don’t create increased activity).

When faced with managing a “lazy” person, then, the most important part of the process is diagnosing the real cause of inaction. It’s important to identify which of these three reasons is most prevalent. By the way, if you are facing your own inherent “laziness”, it’s the same process.

This is the true role of a leader or manager: finding out why those you are overseeing aren’t taking action. And people are often unaware of their true blocks, which makes it more challenging. In many ways, the most important role to play is one of investigator or detective, because once the real problems are known, it’s possible to prescribe remedies to the disease of laziness:

If there is a fear of the unknown, help to define possible outcomes. Although the future can never be fully known, it’s often enough to dispel worst-case scenarios to create movement.
If a lack of competence is leading to inaction, help develop competence. Provide training and direction on the skills necessary for success: create opportunities to practice and role-play, give access to books and other necessary materials, or send people to conferences and seminars. The more comfortable someone is in performing a task or activity, the more likely they are to engage in it.
Most importantly, create rewards and reasons to act. As stated before, financial rewards usually fall flat. However, we get stuck on financial rewards because they're easy. Spend time with people in your organization and you’ll find what really makes them move. The desire for personal and professional growth, the desire to help the team and be part of something bigger, or the desire to feel appreciated can be powerful motivators to tap into.

“Laziness” is an easy scapegoat; it’s easy to call someone lazy and write them off. With a little attention and conversation, though, it’s possible to get past initial impressions to the true challenges, and therefore, to the true solutions.

Tags: laziness, motivation, lazy, inspiration, rewards, sales+skills, sales+training, sales+management, business+management

Relationships are the New Job Security

DFish — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 11:51:00 GMT

If you haven’t noticed, the way the world works has changed a lot. Daily life is going to be a lot different for my children than it was for my parents. In times of change, we yearn for security. Unfortunately, the places that we’ve traditionally found security – career, families, culture - are where most of the changes are happening. One area this is obvious is the lack of traditional job security.

From a historical perspective, it was way easier when you knew that someday you would take your parent’s job. Millers milled, Porters ported, Smiths smithed (I’m pretty sure I know what my forefathers did for a living...). Even during most of the twentieth century, stable employment was the cultural norm – you worked for the same company until they gave you a gold watch and (hopefully) a pension.

These days, long-term stays with the same employer aren’t expected – by the employer or the employee. Needless to say, this has caused a lot of stress as we bounce from position to position through periods of “career transition”, trying to find a stable paycheck in an unstable world. Even if you are highly skilled at your trade, outside variables have a profound impact on your employment.

It might not be possible to get rid of that stress, but it is possible to mitigate it. One of the easiest ways of doing this is through building a strong professional network. No matter your industry or profession, the more connections you have, and the stronger your relationships, the more support you will have when you transition from one position to another.

In Free Agent Nation, Daniel Pink wrote about a trend he saw in which short-term work teams would come together to work on a project and then disband to go onto other projects. Whether or not you are a freelance graphic designer or corporate HR manager, there is much more fluidity in your career path. If you accept that fluidity, and attempt to flow with the currents instead of fighting them, your professional opportunities will increase and your stress hormones will decrease.

How do you go with the flow and still pay the bills. If you are unemployed, your most valuable resource is information: Who is hiring? What skills are employers looking for? Who is a center of influence in your profession? What are the trends in the industry? Although you can get some of that information online, the most direct way is through your contacts. Especially because they act as filters – they give you the most relevant information to your success because they want you to be successful. They help direct your attention and efforts, and make it easier for you to act on the information, e.g., facilitate an introduction to an important contact.

The more robust your network, then, the easier it is to find the next position when your current one comes to an end. The more influence you can bring to bear from others, the better. The people in your network may be able to hire you directly, or they will have access to people who are hiring or information on where the jobs are. Not only can this shorten the time when you are “between positions” or “in transition”, it can make those times an important part of your career growth instead of stagnation.

The key to having this network in place is constant cultivation. Building your network can’t be an activity you start the day after you are laid off – it has to be a consistent part of your professional life. Too often, people are scrambling to make networking connections, and trying to leverage them too quickly, because they didn’t lay any foundation when they were still employed. Take the time now to build those relationships, because when you know that there’s a safety net of contacts and connections underneath you, you won’t feel the stress of walking the career tightrope. You’ll know that even if you fall off, you’ll have a clear path to your next opportunity.

Tags: job+security, job+skills, networking, business+relationships, Daniel+Pink, Free+Agent+Nation

Zen Tools for Business: Mindfulness

DFish — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 17:03:00 GMT

In the past fifty years, the exchange of ideas between the eastern and western hemispheres has increased dramatically, but there remains huge opportunities to mesh these cultures together. If you’ve ever seen The Karate Kid, your image of the “far east” might begin and end with Mr. Miyagi clapping his hands, focusing his chi, and inexplicably healing Daniel-san. In these days of globalization, though, what was once esoteric is now becoming common, and this is definitely true when it comes to Eastern philosophies. Buddhism and Hinduism, for example, which were once veiled in mystery, are now part of common conversations.

There’s still a lot of misinterpretation, though. Heck, look how often terms like nirvana and karma are tossed around (usually incorrectly). It takes years and years to develop a true grasp of many of these concepts, but there are a few simple ideas that can have a huge impact on how we operate in our daily lives. Zen Buddhism, for example, has always had an attraction to overwhelmed Westerners. There are a number of Zen principles that can help (without us having to become a monks first), one of which is the practice of mindfulness.

Mindfulness as a concept is pretty simple. It’s the idea of a single-minded focus on the present moment; of being completely present to what you are doing and thinking right now. It sounds like it should be easy, but it’s close to impossible to practice mindfulness regularly (try focusing your attention on an object for even one minute without thinking about anything else). Zen practitioners spend a lifetime in meditation developing the ability to focus on each moment on a consistent basis.

You might not achieve the focus of a Zen master, but practicing mindfulness provides useful benefits. We live in a culture that has taken multi-tasking to a new height, even though it’s proven that people can’t actually multi-task (even if you think you are the world’s best multi-tasker – you’re really not very effective). It’s common for us to think about what we have to do later in the day or week, or to dwell on past conversations and situations. You might even be thinking of something else right now as you try to read this article. Our over-active minds are constantly pulling us out of this present mindfulness.

This impedes successful activity because concentration is a key ingredient of high-performance. Talk to any top athlete or artist about their peak states, and focused attention is always a big part of their response. (Mihaly Csikszentmihaly called it a “flow state"). A simple way to increase your flow states is to practice bringing the power of mindfulness into your daily activities. Here are a few places to start:

Concentrate on one activity. If you are answering emails, answer emails. If you are talking on the phone, talk on the phone. If you are eating a sandwich, eat a sandwich. But try to avoid doing all of them at once. When you do multiple activities concurrently, you’ll do each at a lower level and you won’t be able to get into a “groove” with any of them.
Minimize distractions. It might not be possible to eliminate all distractions, but it is possible to avoid unnecessary ones. If your mind has no problem going off target on its own, it doesn’t make sense to help it. When you are working on a project, turn off your email and phone. And, if you can, close the door to your office or put on headphones to prevent people from interrupting.
Create short periods of focus. If you know that you have a project that you want to make progress on, set a time frame in which you are going to do nothing else (see the Hour of Power). Fifteen to sixty minutes is ideal, anything longer and it’s easy to mentally wander into something else. This way, when you do find your attention slipping, you’ll be able to refocus more quickly because you know you only have to stay on task for a finite period of time.

Now admittedly, when you put these ideas into place, you won’t suddenly become a Zen master. But you will find that you are able to accomplish tasks more easily, more quickly, and with a lot less stress.

Tags: mindfulness, zen, business, zazen, meditation, mihaly+csikszentmihaly, flow, power+of+full+engagement

The Magic Number of Networking Connections

DFish — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:17:00 GMT

I often get asked about the ideal number of connections you should have in your professional network. The topic often gets muddled because our first impulse is to equate networking success directly with the number of connections we have. I’m here to tell you that you don’t need a huge number contacts to have networking work for you. It’s much more important that you have strong relationships with the people in your network. But if you are really looking for that magic number of connections, here it is:

One more than you have now.

That’s the key to success. What’s really important isn’t the overall number of connections, but the attitude you bring to your activity. If you are always looking for one more connection, you’ll find that you keep yourself open to new opportunities and relationships; and that’s the key to successful networking.

So whether you have 10, 100, or 1,000 contacts, the goals is to keep your eyes open for that next relationship you can build.

Tags: business+skills, networking+skills, network+size, business+networking, professional+networking, connections, contacts, business+contacts

Networking and Dating

DFish — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 21:55:00 GMT

If you have ever stepped back and watched the action at a business networking event, the resemblance to a singles bar is uncanny (and slightly unnerving). Think about it, there's a bunch of people wandering around, nervously approaching people they don’t know because they’re hoping to meet that special someone that will make their life better. And most prefer to stay with the group of people they already know (or by the bar) because it's more comfortable.

Professional networking has a lot of similarities to dating - which shows you why a lot of people don't like networking, because let's face it, dating is hard. But if we look at the similarities, we can also see how to make our networking more effective and ultimately, more fun.

You have to go where the prospects are. – Single people hang out at bars and parties for a reason – that’s where the other single people are. In the same way, you should go where your ideal business connections are spending time. Whether it’s a Chamber of Commerce event, an association mixer, or an entrepreneur’s club, put yourself in close contact with the people you want to meet.
The best introductions come from friends. – If you want to grow your network, start with your friends. A lot of first dates come from, “Introduce me to your cute friend…”. Start building your business network by asking your friends and close colleagues: “Who else should I know?” and “Can you introduce us?”. And then follow up on those introductions
You’re going to have a lot of first dates. – Just like finding a significant other, when you are looking for clients, employers, vendors, or whomever, it’s a numbers game. You aren't going to have a strong personal or professional with everyone you meet, so you have to meet a lot of people to construct a vibrant network. It helps to “play the field” as much as possible. The good thing, though, unlike dating, the more relationships you develop, the better.
Sometimes, you have to just be friends. – As you meet more and more people, you'll realize that some of your relationships aren’t going to be productive from a business standpoint. That’s totally OK. You’ll find that some of those relationships will gradually fade or that some will evolve into personal friendships. Every business connection you make doesn’t have to “end at the altar”.
Sometimes, you need to take a break. – Meeting new people and building new relationships is tiring work. Sometimes you’ll need to rest, maybe spend some time with your established relationships, or maybe even take some “me” time. You don’t always have to be “on” to be successful in networking. In fact, when you recharge your batteries periodically, you’ll find it’s easier to network like a RockStar!

Just like dating, building a powerful network takes time, energy, and attention. It’s rarely a straight line, with a lot of starts and stops. But in the same way, it’s worth it when things fall into place and great things happen because you met that special someone!

Tags: networking, business+networking, professional+networking, marketing, dating, singles, singles+bar, relationships, introductions, business, sales, training

Non-Linear Growth for Entrepreneurs

DFish — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 13:09:14 GMT

What causes entrepreneurs to fail?

It’s a question that comes up a lot when working with clients who are struggling to build their businesses. Even new business owners who are doing well often feel that they are close to the edge of insolvency and are frustrated by how quickly (or rather, how slowly) their businesses are growing. Obviously, starting and growing a new enterprise is challenging, or everyone would be doing it. By where does that challenge come from?

Aside from the many logistical obstacles (capital, training, economic viability, etc.), one of the main struggles is psychological. This is an area that most new entrepreneurs don’t prepare for, and subsequently, it becomes one of the main reasons that they fail. Being an entrepreneur requires a different psychological skill set than most other career paths. One of the key concepts that is critical for successful entrepreneurs to understand is:

Business growth is non-linear.

As humans, we are are comfortable with linear relationships. For example, if I kick a soccer ball and it goes 50 feet, I expect that when I kick it twice as hard it will go twice as far. In the professional world, we expect someone who has worked at a job longer to have more skills and be more competent. In fact, the traditional idea of career advancement is very linear – as someone grew older, it was expected that they would gain skills and experience and rise in their organization into positions of more authority and more compensation.

This is why it’s disorienting for new entrepreneurs when they realize that the growth model for their new company isn’t linear – especially in the short-term. Business grow in a non-linear fashion that usually looks something like this:

The linear path (the straight line from the bottom left to the top right) defines what we normally expect: one unit of effort equals one unit of return. For anyone who has worked a job for an hourly wage, this makes sense: “I get paid x dollars for every hour I work”. The line that starts under that linear trajectory but eventually curves above it is the path that most entrepreneurial ventures follow: in the beginning of a new business the input outweighs the return, but eventually the growth of the business means that less effort and time are needed for increasingly large returns.

The pivot point is the critical point – it’s where the enterprise goes from being a time and energy “drain” to a leveraged organization. It’s where entrepreneurs are able to find the “entrepreneurial payoff” in which they are compensated well above what the linear path would have dictated. This also makes up for the beginning when they were losing out on return by choosing the entrepreneurial path.

It’s important to realize that this is a visual representation, but not necessarily a mathematical one. (I’m not much of a mathematician as it is.) While we are using a graphical visual, it doesn’t mean that there are hard and clear equations which govern how it looks. In fact, it’s inherently non-quantifiable. This is one of the most important parts of the entrepreneurial journey, because it’s not possible to define the pivot point. It’s often possible to define a break-even point financially, but it’s not possible to define when it will occur. Anyone who tells you that they have hard and fast way to determine this is trying to sell you something.

If you can’t define the exact path of the non-linear growth, what’s the value of looking at this chart? It’s main benefit is psychological. The more awareness you can bring to the psychological pitfalls of entrepreneurship, the more you can prepare ourselves for them. As more people are beginning their own entrepreneurial ventures, it becomes critical to understand that building a business doesn’t work like other “jobs”. This can be incredibly valuable for small service-oriented “solopreneurs” who are making a go of it on their own.

One of the common reasons new businesses fail is that entrepreneurs feel that they aren’t getting the results that they “should” be getting. They become frustrated and they give up, often just before they are about to hit the pivot point and see success. That doesn’t mean that every entrepreneurial effort will succeed given enough time. It’s quite possible that the pivot point is so far in the future as to be practically impossible to reach, or that there isn’t enough capital or knowledge to get to that point. This does, however, illustrate three critical mindsets that every entrepreneur has to inculcate:

1. There is a difference between the direct results we are used to and the non-linear nature of business development. Most of the physical world follows a path of direct results; we think that with every additional unit of energy, we should get an additional unit of result. New businesses don’t grow that way, so don’t get frustrated (because frustration just leads to unhappiness and bad decision-making).

2. Be ready to invest the time and energy in your new venture, if you aren’t willing or able to get through it, don’t start. And if you are in the thick of it but you don’t want to invest more effort, get out! You’ll just be throwing money and time away, and you won’t get to the point of positive return.

3. The pivot point is inherently unknowable because there are so many variables that influence it. It can depend on industry and profession, and it depends on revenue vs. expense. But keep looking for ways to accelerate towards the pivot point – look for activities that are truly investments in your business like relationship building and brand awareness – they’ll have have a positive impact down the line.

Building your own business can have huge rewards, both financially and emotionally. But there is an investment to be made up front. The more aware you are of the mental challenges of entrepreneurship, the more you’ll be able to prepare for them, and the more likely you are to succeed!

Tags: entrepreneurship, entrepreneur, business, business+skills, business+growth, investment, business+psychology, non-linear, non-linear+growth, The+Dip, Seth+Godin, Nassim+Taleb

What Goes Around, Comes Around

DFish — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 10:59:00 GMT

“I don’t get business networking. It’s just a bunch of people in a room passing out their business cards and only wanting to talk about their business. They don’t want to help me.” Someone told me that the other day. She hadn’t found a lot of success with her networking. I wonder why…?

I talk a lot about networking karma when I’m working with professionals on improving their networking skills. It’s a complete misappropriation of the word karma, but everyone gets what I mean. In its most direct form: If you help people get what they want, they will help you get what you want.

It’s not just a warm and fuzzy, feel-good idea. It’s practical, real-world advice. The success of your networking rests on the strength of your network. The strength of your network rests on the strength of your relationships. The strength of your relationships stems from interpersonal engagement, and that is based on shared interests, trust and mutual support.

I actually find this very comforting, because it means that to be successful, all I have to do is go help other people be successful. When I tell this to others, their heads go up and down like a bobble-head doll. Yet almost everyone I’ve talked to who struggles with professional networking is just waiting for others to help them first.

If you really get this idea of networking karma, and you’re sitting there wondering how you can build your career, stop! Take the next five minutes and figure out ways you can help the people you know be successful in their careers. Because…

What goes around, comes around.

Tags: networking, networking+karma, karma, professional+networking, business+networking

Help! I Stink at Networking!

DFish — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 10:55:00 GMT

There are a number of steps that determine how successful someone is when they are networking. You don’t have to be a RockStar at all of these to be successful, in fact it’s natural if you are stronger in some areas and weaker in others. However, you have to make sure your weaknesses aren’t undermining your efforts. For example, if you are great at meeting new people but horrible at follow up,you probably have a bunch of business cards at home of people you’ve met but have never spoken to again. Conversely, you might be great at creating a long-term relationship but horrible at meeting new people, which means you probably have a strong, but too-small, network.

How do you prevent these weak areas from sabotaging your networking success? Here are four of the main areas where people have challenges, and ways to fix them:

Meeting New People – If you aren’t good at bringing new contacts into your network, you’re not getting the benefits of networking because you can’t reach the critical mass necessary.

Make a list of the types of people you want in your network, and use Google to find events that they would attend (industry or trade meetings, formal networking events, Chambers of Commerce).
If you are nervous about going alone, take a friend with you for moral support and ask them to hold you accountable for meeting at least 3 new people.
Use online social networking sites such as LinkedIn and Twitter. These can be great tools for meeting new professionals who have similar interests as you.

Following Up – Good networking is about building relationships, and if you don’t have a way to follow up with the people you meet, you don’t have the chance to build those relationships.

Use a system to store all of your contact information. It can be Outlook, LinkedIn or a spreadsheet, but keep all of your connection information in one place. Putting the info into the computer makes it easily searchable
Create a habit of immediate follow up. When you get a new business card or meet someone new, send them a quick email or send a short note to say “nice to meet you”.
Send an email (even a group email using blind cc monthly or quarterly to your network to keep them in the know and stay on their radar.

Helping People – The more value you can bring to a relationship, the stronger the bonds. Look for ways to help the people in your network solve their problems and challenges.

Make one introduction a week. Look through your list of contacts, and look for an opportunity to introduce two of them. They might have the opportunity to work with each other, they might have similar career paths, or maybe they would get along well.
When you read an interesting article online ask yourself, “Who do I know that would benefit from this information?” Email them a link to the article.
Share relevant information on professional social media sites – but don’t overwhelm your networks with fluff – that’s not helping!

Leveraging Relationships – The purpose of professional networking is to help others, but also to let them help you.

Ask for introductions. If you know your connection has a relationship with someone you’d like to meet, ask for them to introduce you by email or even with a quick phone call. And then follow up on the introduction
When you have professional questions, realize that someone in your network probably has the answer. Asking for help can be a huge time saver (and actually builds the relationship).
Say thank you! C’mon, it’s just good manners (and if you don’t say thank you, why would they help you in the future?)

Tags: networking, business+networking, professional+networking, follow+up, meeting+new+people, introductions, linkedin, relationships, connections

3 Keys to Introducing Yourself to a Group

DFish — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 10:49:00 GMT

At some point in your professional career you are going to have to stand up in front of a group of people and introduce yourself. It might be at a formal networking event where everyone is going around the room and giving their “elevator speech”, or maybe it’s a professional conference where you are each introducing yourself during a seminar or a break-out session.

Whatever the scenario, you are going to be standing in a room of strangers, telling them who you are. And like it or not, they are going to make judgments about you based on how you introduce yourself. They are going to decide how competent and skilled you are in your profession based on how well you present yourself. It might not be fair, but there it is.

Because of this, most of us freak out and try to script the best possible introduction, so we say the right things. But it’s way more important to say things the right way. If it’s true that “it’s not what you say but how you say it that’s important” (and it is), then the time that you spend working on your delivery is way more important then the words you choose. Here are three places to start:

1. Make sure everyone can see your face! When you are sitting in the middle of a room, there’s a good chance that when you just stand up from where you are sitting, your backside is going to be facing some of your audience. No matter how many lunges you’ve been doing at the gym lately, that’s not good. The fix is easy: when it’s your turn, simply stand up and walk to the edge of the room and turn so everyone can see you. They’ll be able to hear you better and your facial expressions are an important communication tool. Speaking of hearing…

2. Speak loudly enough that everyone in the room can hear you. It’s sounds obvious, but if they can’t hear you, your audience can’t form a good impression of you. Usually, this means you will be speaking louder than you normally do – thats OK. You have to make sure that those farthest away from you can hear. This is especially important to remember if you have a normally soft voice or one that is harder to understand at a distance. For example, deep voices carry farther but tend to distort – so speak up, speak clearly, and leave the Barry White impression for later.

3. Stand tall and smile. What if you had to introduce yourself and you couldn’t speak? What would you do? Considering a very small percentage of communication is the words we use, you might be able to get away with it (not that I’m suggesting being mute at your next meeting). If you want to check this for yourself, watch TV with the volume down, you’ll be amazed at how much is still communicated. The best thing to do when introducing yourself: stand straight (which shows confidence) and smile (which shows openness) – two key attributes that will determine if your audience likes you or not!

Tags: networking, introductions, public+speaking, business+networking, professional+networking, business, communications, communication+skills

You Are the Victim

DFish — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 20:58:25 GMT

If you don’t understand sarcasm, for your own mental and emotional safety, don’t read any farther:

You are the victim

Everyone who tells you that their life is tough is full of crap. They’ve obviously never been in your shoes for a day. The universe is conspiring against you and it seems that you can’t go 20 minutes without someone deliberately making your life harder than it has to be. Throughout your life, you’ve always been the wrong height, weight, gender, ethnicity, and even when it seemed like you’ve had all of the privilege, the ensuing reverse discrimination was horrible. And of course you don’t have any of the tools or skills necessary for success – nobody ever gave them to you.

Don’t forgive anyone

When someone wrongs you, don’t let them off the hook by forgiving them. Forgiveness is the easy way out. It’s for weak people who let others walk all over them. When you forgive someone, you are condoning their behavior. Screw forgive and forget. Hold it against them for as long as you possibly can, or until they do something worse.

When in doubt, just give up

Life is hard. Trying to accomplish things is hard. If you want to try to accomplish something, that’s fine, just realize that it probably won’t work out. If it doesn’t, that’s OK – stop. People throughout history have made themselves miserable by attempting to achieve the same goal over and over. It’s like they can’t take a hint. They say that success is falling down 9 times and getting up 10 times. They have obviously never fallen down 9 times. It hurts to fall down that often, physically or metaphorically. If you fail at something 9 times, it might be a good time to realize you can’t do it. If you were really meant to do something, you ‘d get it right the first time.

Introspection is a waste of time

Seriously, the answers to all of your questions aren’t inside of you. If they were, you’d already know them. Duh! If you have a problem, the dumbest way to find an answer to it is to sit in a room quietly or write in a journal. To figure it out you have to go find other information, go to different places, watch Youtube videos; you know, get other people to tell you what your answers are.

Trust is a bad idea

Really, have you meet someone who is actually trustworthy? You can’t even trust yourself to do what you say you are going to do (like every time you swear you are going to the gym). So how can you trust other people who are even more screwed up than you. Trusting someone is like painting a big target on your ass and screaming “Kick me!”. Everyone who has done well in life has been a loner because they knew that trusting others was a bad idea.

Goals don’t work

If I had a nickel for everyone I’ve met who had a goal of being rich, but was still working their ass off to pay their bills every month, well, then I would achieve my goal of being rich. The only people who have goals are losers who have nothing to do with their life besides sit around and come up with goals. Winners are too busy winning to have goals. See Failure is Forever.

There isn’t enough time

24 hours is not enough to accomplish anything useful. It’s barely enough time to get the basics in while still getting some sleep. Oh, wait, there’s not enough time to sleep. Modern comfort comes at a price, and you can’t expect to be a fully civilized person if you aren’t running your ass off every day. People who have time to hang out are just lazy, or stoners, and they aren’t getting ahead in life, not like you are!

Failure is forever

The most important lesson you should have learned in school is that you have a permanent record and it’s, well, permanent. Every failure, mistake, screw-up, and bad decision is being recorded and it will affect your chances for happiness. So don’t screw up! If something is in the least bit risky, don’t do it. Any possibility of positive gains are completely overshadowed by the ramifications of potential failure.

Dwell on the past/Ignore the present moment/Worry about the future

Need I say more.

A Different Perspective

DFish — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 10:54:29 GMT

I want to talk about an idea right out of quantum physics (don't worry, there's no math). For lack of a proper name, I'm going to call it the Both/And Perspective. It has as it's opposite what I'll call the Either/Or Perspective. I'm going to suggest that by opening yourself to the both/and viewpoint, you'll bring huge amounts of growth to your life.

As I said, this idea is taken from quantum physics; I'll use the nature of light as an example. In school you might have come across the debate that light was a particle or that light was a wave, because sometimes it acts like one or the other.

In old-school (Newtonian) physics, they were like, "it has to be either a particle or a wave, it can't be both, so pick one." But what modern quantum physics has found is that indeed, light can be both a particle and a wave, depending on how you look at it. So in its very nature, it possesses two seemingly contradictory properties - at the same time.

Why is this relevant? The Both/And Perspective has always been a part of Eastern philosophies like Taoism, but for hundreds of years, Western society has been operating under the assumption that you have use the either/or outlook (long backstory, a lot of it has to do with Descartes). This has taken us away from a both/and perspective on the universe, even though there is a lot of evidence that it's how the natural world operates.

Do any of these beliefs sound familiar: you can be a person of logic or emotion, football or opera, math or the arts, linear thinking or "out of the box thinking". Well why not both. The both/and perspective allows for being able to encompass both sides of a coin. It's not always easy to hold this viewpoint, but you probably have practice. For example you can both love your significant other, and they can be a pain in the ass at the same time. It's not either/or, it's both/and.

That's where the power of this perspective comes in. If you can see much of the world as both/and, it allows you to see a lot more possibilities. This can a)help you see connections that make your life run more smoothly and b)take the pressure off of only having one reality, e.g. the idea that you can be both a good person and make mistakes vs. either you are a good person or you make mistakes.

As you go though your day, look for where an either/or perspective has created inertia, and where a both/and perspective might create movement. This could be in a work project, a personal relationship, or even just an opinion you have that isn't serving you anymore.

Tags: perspective, personal+development, quantum+physics

The Whole Enchilada

DFish — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 08:34:00 GMT

When working with business people on how to improve their businesses, I don’t always talk about their business. Although a lot of professionals need to brush up on some fundamental business skills, I’ve found that most need much more work on topics that fall under the heading of personal development, areas such as inter-personal communication, self-awareness, and goal-setting. For a business coach and speaker, then, I spend a lot of time talking about non-business stuff.

To see how these pieces work together, I’ll refer to it as: the Mexican Food Theory of Professional Development. If you think about a good burrito, tostada, or enchilada, it is a conglomeration of many great tastes: the meat, the cheeses, the vegetables, the salsa. If one of those components is off, or worse, if it's missing, the whole dish tastes wrong and sometimes is completely ruined.

In the same way, if one of the ingredients in your personal life is not clicking, it affects your professional life and really the whole of your experience. For example, I often work with clients who have put all of their energy into their careers, and subsequently only pay lip service to their personal relationships which are subsequently crumbling. Or they focus all of their energy on taking care of others, and forget to take care of themselves (even to the point of personal illness). Although most people aren't this extreme, they are often adversely affected in their careers by imbalance in their life.

To take your professional life to the next level, the first step is usually to find the piece in your personal life that is missing or has gone sour (and not the good sour cream kind of sour). For example, a person who doesn't have passion in their career rarely has passion outside of their career. By reconnecting with something that fires them up outside of their professional work, they are able to bring that passion and motivation back into the job.

What is the missing ingredient in the taco of your life? Even if it's not missing completely, what is something you could put into your weekly schedule that would make you happy and also enhance the other parts of your life (including work). What can you do today to start putting that piece into place?

Tags: mexican+food, enchilada, personal+development, self-improvement