What Should I Know in my 30s
I picked up a book at the library called 30 Things to do When You Turn 30; my birthday was a few weeks ago and age has been on my mind lately. It’s full of short essays by the “leading 30–somethings” of my generation filled with their musings about what being 30 means to them and outlining the steps needed to lead a good life during your third decade. Some of the essays are insightful and thought-provoking, some not so much.
I realized, though, I’m not that concerned with the thoughts of a random Harvard Business School graduate or someone who’s backpacked through Tibet. The people I do want to take life lessons from are the people around me. I know their stories, what makes up the mosaic of their experiences, and I think that makes it easier to engage with their ideas. Why go far for wisdom when it’s right around the corner?
I don’t usually ask for comments on articles, but I ask you to answer one of the following questions. The response can be as long or short as you would like. If you don’t want to publish it to the public, I’d appreciate you sending me your thoughts by email for my own understanding.
- If you are in your 30’s right now, what is the most important lesson you’ve learned up to this point that you are making your best attempt to implement?
- If you are over 30, what is the one thing you wish you could tell the 30–year-old version of yourself?
Categories: Ideas and Observations
Tags: thirties 30's aging guidance
Interesting question, especially because I was very happy to turn 30 -- it felt like my first real "coming of age" experience, even the magical 21 was not so significant. For the first time, I was able to acknowledge being an adult, with all the pluses and minuses of leaving behind childhood.
What would I say to my younger self now? Well, I actually had the experience of traveling back in time in a very specific exercise at Jean Houston's Mystery School. And as I recall it now, the words I said were: "You've been looking for wisdom for a long time, Marian. Yet wisdom isn't something you can find -- it's what you access only after making all the mistakes you can possibly make.
So take hold of your life with both hands, and squeeze the hell out of it. And remember, I'm always here to listen, if you need that."
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Although I come from the generation that warned, "never trust anyone over 30," I was thrilled when I hit 30. I had seriously messed up in my 20s (married and divorced twice) so 30 felt like a whole new decade.
I was fearless back then. I moved halfway across the country to change careers and started a whole new phase of my life.
So rather than offering advice to my younger self, I look to my younger self to remind me to be brave, to trust myself, and to jump in, confident that I'll learn how to swim.
And, to my younger self, I say, "Don't lose track of your friends when you move on to another phase of your life."
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Looking back on my 30's I would tell myself, that it may seem like it, but you don't have all the time in the world. The best advice I would counsel myself would be to clearly think about and define my goals in all areas of my life-business, personal relationships, financial, and health. Define the goals, write them down, develop tactics and strategies to being them to fruition. Read and revist the goals at least every week, and reformulate your goals every year. Though you may be ambitious, if your goals aren't clearly defined and directed, you are a bit like a pin ball mahcine play as you are bouncing about. The goals determine your daily and weekly activities so you do what is a priority and say no to those things that don't fit with your mission. This way, you not only accomplish what you really want, you don't waste energy and time on things that don't serve your purpose and you avoid burnout. In addition, you build on your accomplishments to greater and more satisfying accomplishments and a life you really enjoy. It's never too late though-start now.
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I passed 30 twenty years ago, so I would tell my 30 year old self... Don't make time your enemy. When you are tempted to feel as though you're in a race against time, try to let go of that. You won't add one second to your life or the quality of your life by competing against it. Accept that all things will come at the right time and in their own time.
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I just turned 60, that's 30 X 2 so I should be twice as insightful.
What I would tell myself is: listen to what makes YOU happy, time is short – and an the end of the road it’s all about family you have and friends you have made and kept.
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