I never really got into internet chat rooms, Instant Messaging, and texting, so I’m a little behind in the evolution of conveying as much meaning as possible in as few letters as possible.  You know, those strings of letters that have become shorthand when communicating by text – LOL, BTW, FOCL, WYSIWYG, etc.  I’ve found, though, that I like IMHO – in my humble opinion – the best, but probably not for the same reason most people do.

I like it because it expresses something in writing that we rarely say in verbal conversation.  When we’re talking with someone, we don’t preface what we say with, “In my humble opinion, …”.   When you get right down to it, though, almost everything we say is simply a “humble opinion”.  Most of what we say is just our opinion - we are almost always communicating from our own point of view, our own perspective.  This is important to remember both when we’re talking to other people and also when we’re listening to what others say to us.

When we’re talking to others, we should keep in mind that what we are saying is true only when seen from our vantage point.  Too often we try to force our ideas on others because we think they are true.  And they are true… for us.  For example, you might think tapioca pudding is great, but when you say “Tapioca pudding is the best dessert in the world” you should remember that you have to put IMHO at the end of this.

By remembering what we say is simply our opinion, we can soften what we say.  This can be especially helpful in an election year.  When you express your feelings on a particular candidate or policy decision, remember that what you are saying makes perfect sense from your viewpoint.  By accepting this limitation, you can allow others to hold their own opinions.  The paradoxical effect of this is that we actually have more credibility when we accept that we don’t have the only truth.   This is because people don’t like having other people’s opinions forced on them, and then they become defensive.

You can also remember this when you are listening to what others say.  Whether it’s in a conversation, on the television, or in a book, when someone is saying something, you don’t have to accept it as true.  Have you ever heard the saying, “Don’t believe everything you see on TV.”  Too often we find ourselves deferring to supposed “experts” and not listening to our own personal judgments.   There are a lot of people/organizations/institutions that would like you to think that they have a monopoly on understanding how things are. 

Whether it’s a concerned family member telling you about your chances of making it as a professional actor, or a politician telling you about how the world should work, everyone is sharing an opinion.  When you realize that, you don’t have to simply accept what they are saying, you can weigh their opinion against what you think.  One of my favorite places to watch this is on the news.  Most news organizations and journalist report everything like it is objective fact when it fact most of it is subjective opinion.

When you are listening to what others say, then, put in your own IMHO to take back your power in your own thinking.  So when you hear: The economy is in a recession (IMHO).  You’re never going to get a better job or lose weight (IMHO).  Good people don’t act like that (IMHO).  Loving that person is wrong (IMHO).

By realizing that neither you, nor anyone else, has the one and only truth, you can take back the authority of your own opinions and you can open yourself up to much more powerful communication.

 “Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.  Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.  Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.  Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.  Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.  But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

-The Buddha