One of the biggest challenges that we face when developing a new skill is that it doesn't happen overnight.  It sounds obvious, but one of the key components of the learning process is that it takes place over a period of time.  Sometimes a long period of time.  It’s not an instantaneous process.  You don’t get to wave a magic wand and POOF, things are different. 

This is often one of the main obstacles to growth because when things don’t happen right away, we get frustrated.  Even if we buy into the concept of delayed gratification, it can be challenging to continually attempt something new when we see little, if any, progress in the immediate future.  In fact, sometimes we don’t even attempt to learn something new because we know that it will frustrate us.

For example, let’s say you have always wanted to play the bagpipes.  You bought a beginner’s bagpipes and the full DVD training series.  You really focused for a few weeks and were diligent in practicing, but after those first few weeks, it still sounded like you were kicking a cat every time you tried to play.   And boom, the bagpipes end up in the back of the closet gathering dust.

Whether it’s learning a new instrument, or developing better time-management skills, or sharing your emotions more effectively, it takes time to develop competence and then mastery.  How do you stay the course through this frustration?  How can you prevent yourself from giving up, or even worse, not even trying at all?

One useful trick is to change your frame of reference as you learn the new skill.  Instead of thinking of your ability as a black or white absolute, think of it as a gradual process.  The more that you can see it as a continuum, the more likely you are to stick with it and not be frustrated.  Instead of asking yourself, “Can I do this or not?”, ask “Am I getting better at this and seeing improvement?” 

This viewpoint allows for the idea of relative progress.  For example, you might not be a bagpipe virtuoso after a month of practice, but maybe you can play the first few bars of Amazing Grace.  By giving yourself credit for gradual improvement, you can recognize your progress over the short term.  Long term improvement, when you think about it, is just a continuous series of short-term improvements strung together.

So when you are learning to play your bagpipes, think of it as a process.  Just because you aren’t good enough to play in the Scottish Highland Games yet, doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing well.  Recognize and reward yourself for each step you make on the journey.  You’ll find yourself judging yourself less and having a lot more fun!